Ashamed
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Dear Online Pastor,
I did a terrible thing two days ago and yesterday. I dranked liquor for two days and didn’t come home until this morning. I am so ashamed and feeling quilty about it. I don’t ever want to do it again. My husband said I was out trying to find my spirit. He understands, but I don’t want to let it ever happen to me again. I talked to God about it. I can’t confide to my local pastor or christian friends. I don’t want to hurt my two married daughters. I just want to live a life as well as helping others too.
Signed Ashamed,
Dear Ashamed,
All of us make mistakes and fall short of what we would like to do. The Apostle Paul said it like this:
Romans 7:15-25 (NIV)
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?25 Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
I am glad you talked to God about it. Once we ask for forgiveness we are forgiven!
I am concerned that there isn’t someone you can talk to though. When we keep these things in the dark they have the potential to get us again. Do you have anyone in your life that would be safe enough to talk with this about. Someone who won’t judge you and who will keep your confidence, but also help you stay on the right path? I would suggest finding a safe person and talking with them about it. There is something very powerful in bringing secrets into the light so that we can live free from the guilt and shame!
I will be praying for you!
(Internet Pastor Online Ministry is provided for education and entertainment purposes. This site is in no way a substitute for a relationship with a local church/pastor or with a licensed counselor when necessary.)
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